What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence may take many forms. These may include:
- Verbal Abuse: This includes name-calling, excessive yelling and threats.
- Restricting Freedom or Using Isolation: Controlling what another person does or who they see.
- Physical Abuse: Including shaking, punching, restraining, slapping and choking.
- Sexual Abuse: Imposing sexual contact on another.
- Intimidation: Using looks, actions, smashing things, destroying property or "standing over".
- Emotional Abuse: Putting people down, humiliating them or refusing to acknowledge them or their feelings.
- Using Male Privilege: Including treating your partner like a servant, being "the boss", making all the decisions.
The presence of any one of these behaviours may indicate that you are in an abusive or violent relationship. This is especially so if you feel fear of your partner in any situation or are afraid of what he/she may do.
Some Facts about Abusive Relationships:
- One woman is killed by her partner or ex-partner in New Zealand every four weeks. Approximately half of all homicides in New Zealand are family violence related.
- One in three New Zealand women experience physical and/or sexual abuse at the hands of a partner during their lifetime.
- In any one year, one woman in five will experience physical and/or sexual abuse at the hands of a partner.
- One in five New Zealand men are subjected to violence by their partners.
- 93 out of every 100 domestic violence cases in New Zealand are male assault female.
- About 10 children are killed every year in New Zealand by a member or members of their own family.
- The annual cost of family violence in New Zealand is at least $1.2 billion.
Family violence is a major problem in New Zealand but by reaching out for help all of us can begin to change the cycle of abuse and violence.
Personal Stories:
Personal stories are stories from men and women who have attended a North Harbour Living Without Violence programme. We ensure that all names and identifying features of these people are changed. With support from agencies such as our own, men and women can learn to live lives free from abuse and violence.
I am a Victim of Family Violence-TraceyWhere to get Help:
In case of emergency, please contact any of the following agencies:
| New Zealand Police | 111 |
| North Shore Hospital | 09 486 1491 |
| Victim Support | 09 477 5065 |
| Women's Refuge 24 hour crisis line | 09 410 6736 |
| Youthline | 0800 376 633 |
| Lifeline | 0800 454 335 |